WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU?

It has been said that taking our journey through life is like the explorers of old when they were exploring a new continent or territory. They didn’t know where they were going or even have a map to guide them. In fact, they are the ones that had to create the map as they went along. Creating a trail for others to follow. The accuracy of the map really depended on how good the map maker at was explaining where the rivers and mountains are located. What landmarks were available for them to identify and the hazards to avoid. This blog is your map to help you be successful at navigating your own life to become the person you want to become. This blog is a journey not a destination. You are the destination!

“It is not enough that we live. We must live a meaningful life so that during our last moments on earth, we would not regret anything. That means everything we do should have a purpose and a meaning that affects every decision we make the moments of our life matter.” – Unknown

In blog #10, I posed the question… What makes life meaningful? I offered some statistics from 4,729 people from across the United States, different categories, different educational levels, different ethnicities, different income, and social status to provide information as to how other people might answer that question and some of their reasoning. This information is to help you see how you relate with some of these people to assist you in formulating your own definition of what your meaningful life might look like to you. In this blog I think it important to take it one step further…it is not just having a meaningful life…what matters most to you? In blog #10 you learned from the surveys give to people, Americans are most likely to mention family when asked what makes life meaningful. After family, they mention a bunch of other considerations from which they derive meaning and satisfaction. One being, their career or job, nearly a quarter mention finances or money, and one-in-five cite their religious faith, friendships, or various hobbies and activities. Some people are mistaken when they believe it is the book they read, the video they watch that creates a meaningful, satisfying life. Not so, those are words, information…to educate and entertain us. We might find enjoyment in the momentary distraction of the book, video, or audio. While it is entertaining and enjoyable, if we don’t keep it in that category it may contribute to skewing our perception of life and not to the foundation of a meaningful life. The distractions of life alone do not offer lasting deep-down satisfaction that a meaningful life offers. That is not what keeps us growing and changing and moving forward. It is not what matters most to each of us. I want to look at the responses people offered as they responded to what matters most to them. Their responses offers some meaningful insight to consider here. René Descartes is famous for the saying, “I think, therefore, I am.” He offered a new vision of the natural world that continues to shape our thinking to some degree today. He suggested the world of matter, possessed a few fundamental properties and interacting according to a few universal laws. Universal Laws that are still understood today. Blaise Pascal was a contemporary of René Descartes. Blaise Pascal was a French mathematician, physicist, inventor, philosopher, writer, and Catholic theologian. He was a child prodigy who was educated by his father, a tax collector in Paris. Pascal was ten years old when Galileo Galilei was forced to recant his belief that the earth circled the sun. Around 1654 Blaise Pascal coined the phrase, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Perhaps you have either experienced that yourself or witnessed that in other people. I think the message Pascal was observing is that most people do not train or discipline their thoughts. Their mind simply grabs onto thoughts they have, or if their subconscious mind can’t figure out an answer it manufactures one…whether it is true or not does not matter. Remember, I mentioned this point in previous blogs…only 5% of what we think, say, and do comes from or conscious mind, our thinking brain. And 95% of everything we think, say, and do emanates from our subconscious mind. Most people have around 60,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. And 80-85% of the thoughts we have today are pretty much the same thoughts we had yesterday and will have most of the same thoughts tomorrow. As we have those thoughts repeatedly, they become subconscious beliefs or rules that drive our behavior. If you want to know what is on your subconscious belief window…just look at your behavior. That is why we experience the same things in our life repeatedly. Unless we do something about it! Like, train and discipline our mind! Like, getting the energy of our thoughts to be in harmony with our desires. Otherwise, the fall subject to our subconscious beliefs that are driving our behavior. Let me give you an example of what I mean…I understand what Blaise Pascal meant by “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” For nearly five years I traveled the world doing brainmaps on over 4,000 people and doing personal consultations with each of them. I learned several things, chief among them, the fact that many people have a very hard time controlling their thoughts to create the inner peace they seek in meditation. When the brain produces too much fast frequency, our thinking activity…which for many is most of the time, in the front of the brain it is called beta…it stimulates a flurry of thoughts and emotions that many of understand as anxiety. It has been described as a runaway train of thoughts and emotions. Follow with me for a minute here so you can best understand how this part of the human mechanism works. The beta frequency, our thoughts, (14-40 Hertz, or cycles per second) these thinking frequencies. They are transmitted through the electromagnetic center of the heart via the Vagus nerve. It is part of our autonomic nervous system. There are two parts sharing this neuro highway. The Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS). In the brain, these frequencies are creating the neuropeptides that connect to our emotions so we can feel them. The beta frequency travels up the nerve to the brain stimulating the thinking and feeling activity in the brain. We experience this overactive thinking in the brain as what we call anxiety, nervousness, or overwhelm. It has learned from out past experiences that this is the feeling it should create. We need a different kind of brainwave to balance it out…the other type of frequency comes from the Parasympathetic Nervous System to counteract the fast wave activity that is out of control in that moment and why we feel anxiety, overwhelm, or fear. When the brainwaves are balanced that activity is known as a coherent brainwave. Basically, the thoughts, wanted or unwanted, are known in science as being “in phase.” The energy waves are moving in the same direction. When they are balanced from this different wave from the parasympathetic nervous system the brain can be quiet. The condition desired in meditation. I believe what Blaise Pascal was describing is this condition of unbalanced brainwaves which made it difficult for people to think or be able to quiet their brain. So, that is why he says, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” That balance is essential for creating a meaningful life. I have programs to teach people how to create balance in their thinking, feeling and change subconscious beliefs that they probably learned growing up, but they are still living those patterns because that’s how we are wired. If we are meditating, or doing anything else in life, we need understand that “still small voice” from our Inner Being, our intuition. More importantly, to connect to the guidance from our intuition. Otherwise, we will be subject to being driven by the subconscious rules that drive our behavior. Our intuition speaks to us primarily with emotion. When we are headed in the right direction, when going to a particular event or meet with a person…it feels right! That is our intuition telling us that is the correct choice. If it doesn’t feel right, if it feels off in some manner…that is our Inner Being or our intuition telling us that is not the way to go or the thing to do. Now, if you have all that beta brainwave activity in your sympathetic nervous system you won’t be able to hear that “still small voice” or feel the emotions to let you know that the choice is the right or wrong choice, situation or person are not the right direction. If there is too much distraction from everything else, or our unwanted thoughts are dominating our thinking we most certainly will miss the message and will make choices that are leading us away from the meaningful life we desire. Our highest priority should be who we are as a person. Our own identity, who we believe we are and what we can do or not do. We want to be better control of our thoughts and behaviors. Our career that contributes to our well-being. Our meaningful life might be more driven by spirituality. Perhaps it provides more satisfaction through our relationships and friendships. It is not for me to say what a meaningful life for you, that is for you to decide. That is your choice and for you to accept, create and bring into your reality! I have heard it said that anyone can guide the ship in calm water. It is more challenging and requires more skill and experience if the sea is choppy and not as calm. The sea is only still on occasion and for short periods of time. We must learn how to steer our ship when the waters are not calm…which is most of the time. We may encounter some choppy seas that requires us to make choices to navigate a path through the water that is not calm. Sometimes there is a raging storm that requires more skill and has choices that hold greater consequence. Develop your experience, find your balance! Follow with me as I lead you to gathering and applying the secrets to creating your meaningful life. One of the pillars of this book are the teachings of Albert Einstein. He spent a lifetime understanding and teaching how Universal Laws work. Albert Einstein (1879–1955) is widely acknowledged to be one of the greatest physicists of all time. Einstein is best known for developing the theory of relativity, but he also made important contributions to the development of the theory of quantum mechanics. Relativity and quantum mechanics are together the two pillars of modern physics. His mass–energy equivalence formula E = MC2, which arises from relativity theory, has been dubbed “the world’s most famous equation“. His work is also known for its influence on the philosophy of science. In the 1930s, Albert Einstein battled with Niels Bohr, a Danish physicist, over the completeness of the emergence of the new physics that included quantum mechanics. To explain something that at the time had no real explanation in science, Einstein referred to it as “spooky action at a distance.” I believe that term is his way of talking about Universal Laws. Albert Einstein teaches us, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want, and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” The importance of Universal Law is that they work even if you don’t know about them. They work even if you don’t understand them or even care about them. They work the same for everyone, whether we want them to or not. To create your meaningful life, it is important to understand the basics of this…you cannot attract your meaningful life if your personal vibration is out of alignment, and you are pushing it away. Knowing that Universal Laws are at work in our life and knowing how to use them will keep you from wondering why you think you are doing all the right things but not getting the result you desire. Sometimes it seems to work and other times it seems confusing because it isn’t working. If it isn’t working it is because you are out of alignment…it could be your thoughts, feelings, or your behaviors need some fine tuning. Someone or something is not doing this to you or for you…many may think life is happening to them…fact is, you are the one creating the outcome of what you are attracting. Because of your lack of alignment, you are the one pushing it away from yourself the very thing you think you are attracting to yourself. That has to do with your subconscious beliefs…the rules that drive our thinking and behavior. I find that most people need help, guidance, and instruction on how to implement this in their life. It is not that some people have this gift, and some do not. Everyone on this planet is subject to Universal Laws. You need to decide you want to learn how those laws work and put the solution into attracting your meaningful life. The importance of using these Universal Laws in your life is… 1. We Are Not Separate Entities All things in the universe have a link to each other. Our existence is like a circle, and it is impossible to live a solitary life. Our Collective Consciousness and shared universal energy bind us to everyone and everything. 2. Everything We Do Has an Effect on the World Thoughts. Actions. Words. Beliefs. All of these have an impact on us as individuals and on our Collective Conscience and existence. The significance of this is that you influence the type of life you lead and your circumstances. There is a song by the Alan Parsons Project from 2007 called “The Games That People Play.” The lyrics say, “Where do we go from here now that all of the children are grown and how do we spend our lives if there is no one to lend us a hand?” The first few lines of the song speak of a query all of us are face worldwide. The Pandemic forced us to look at ourselves and our priorities. We were isolated for so long we began to wonder who we are, where we’re going and how are we going to get there from here, especially …if there is no one to lend us a hand? Asking what’s next? A meaningful life is about making our moments, our experiences in life matter. It is about following through with our choices. We begin by deciding what a meaningful life means to each of us. We have an unknowable number of moments. All we know is that once we spend them, we can never get them back and we can never get more. On our journey we will meet a lot of people who go right to the edge of oblivion. We often go to the fragility of existence. It beckons us, it is in the forefront of our being. For some, they want to experience the fragility of existence by standing at the door of an airplane. They may be drawn to experience it moving down the sheer face of a mountain side on snow skis, or perhaps getting up close and personal to the jaws of a shark. Other people find that fragility of existence in the eyes of another person, a starving child, a bruised woman, a shatter veteran, yet other people find it in a damaged and destroyed landscape. But these people are going and embracing the fragility of existence and finding ways to enhance what we all have, what we all share and may not be embrace that which another finds a fragility in life that they believe matters. At the same time, there are people out there who discard those moments like fast food rappers out of a car window, littering the landscape with toxic throw away moments in life, casual, cruelty, thoughtless destruction, mindlessly squandering. This one thing that we’ve got the contrast between these two groups is the psychological study of meaning in life. Psychologists are trying to deal with this question. Consider for a moment where you reside in the universe. What are you here to experience? What choices will you make? Where will you go from here. Why are you here?

Where Are You…Where Are You Going? There’s a popular graphic that I love, it is spiral galaxy and an arrow pointing to the Milky Way Galaxy. If you look at images from space, according to this picture, we reside on the outer edge of the galaxy and seem to be a speck of dust. Like the fragility of a Robin’s egg, this is where we experience the moments our life. That’s where life is for us for all of us. It’s incredibly, almost unfathomably fragile, precious. And in that life, we have all these moments that we’ve been given, somehow, we must make those moments matter. As human beings we are attempting to understand the psychological meaning of where we go from here. I believe it has at least two things. What matters most is “purpose” and “significance.” And purpose is the need to do according to the University of Minnesota Psychologist. Eric Klinger. He argues that we didn’t evolve from passive rooted organisms that can sit around and wait for what they need to come to them. We evolved from creatures that need to move, to explore, and experience their world. We must move to find and seek and obtain what we need in life. And that entails risks. But it also entails “doing,” we can’t just stop. It’s in our very being to do so. I think of “purpose” as an anchor, we throw out into the future, this “aspiration,” we have this big dream we throw into the future, and it keeps the future alive in us. And sometimes when the present is too hard, it serves as a, as a source of solace. These are the pillars that make things matter to us. We can transcend what’s happening because we know that out there is a big dream that we’re pursuing. So, in our very being is the need to find what creates a meaningful life for us. What are we supposed to do with ourselves? What kind of purpose are we supposed to pursue? The answer comes from “significance.” The need to make sense of ourselves and the life we are living. Our brains have evolved, we have incredible capacity to combine and recombine our experiences to find associations and link and relink, finding patterns and maps and meaning everywhere. The question isn’t can we find meaning in life? The fact is, “we can’t not find” meaning in our lives, it’s happening all the time. It’s happening a hundred times today for each of us. The question is, can we build a powerful life that adds significance and matters to us? Meaning, in our life we can forge a powerful purpose that transforms our life and helps transform the lives of others around us, because we have a shared future? That’s really the, what we’re trying to understand with significance and purpose combining into the meaningful life, meaning tends to have this sort of intuitive appeal. It sounds good, right? If I said, hey, you get it. Your choice is to have a “meaningful life”, or a “meaningless life”, all of us choose the meaning side, right? But we can do better than that. We’ve been studying this for over 50 years in psychology and we can look, and we can say this meaning matters to me. It’s associated with a whole constellation of amazing and cherished psychological attributes. You are going to go out and find your purpose and you are going to forge the sense that you make a difference in your own lives. There’s no answer from me or anybody. The good news is that you can all do it. Anyone can do it. Researchers studied this question and found patterns emerging?

Beauty is All Around Us if we Will Look for It! In one study, they simply gave digital cameras to college students said, take pictures of what makes your life feel meaningful. Come back and presented the picture they took. Their pictures and the reasons why they presented them were very thought provoking and worth of special consideration. You could see that they were rediscovering thousands of years of wisdom about the secret of meaning in life, which is there’s no secret at all. It’s all around us. There are invitations and opportunities to find meaning and get meaning all around us all the time. One student submitted this picture, to some it might seem quite unusual picture. But the story behind it is deeper than I suspected. I’m going to share with you a few of these, these pictures from the study. One person took a picture. She mentioned about this picture is this picture represents the beauty of the world stopping and taking it all in helps make life meaningful.

Connecting with heritage and tradition, contributing, working hard, and finding a way to make something important of the way that he spends his moment. This person submitted a picture of a tractor. It was picked because the researchers wanted to show how farming was a large influence on their life. It shows that there are still people who work hard just to put food on the table. We see this person connecting with family and connecting with heritage and tradition, contributing, working hard, and finding a way to make something important of the way that he spends his moment. Again, this vital connection, the ability to contribute to other people, to weave our futures together and for this person to consider ways in which the moments he’s spending at work are building something powerful, important for himself. So, we come to this question, what makes life meaningful? And maybe it’s the biggest question we can ask. Why are you here? What are you going to do with your life? What makes your existence matter? But maybe the answer to this biggest of all questions is very small, all around us opportunities to build together, meaning through connecting, contributing, and considering ways to make all our moments matter.

Almost 90% of these students mentioned a form of relationship… The study also revealed the number one answer was people…almost 90% of these students mentioned explicitly a form of relationship, brothers, sisters, parents, grandchildren, colleagues, lovers, coworkers, people, relationships are the ocean in which we find meaning is the landscape of meaning. But beyond that, we find some other interesting and compelling ways to look through meaning in our own lives.

This job helps me pay to support my family. The last picture I’ll share with you is the scene that plays out countless times, all around us in schools, malls and airports, restaurants everywhere, but are we missing something? Are we missing a chance to find something deep? Because what this person says is this is my work in the lower student center though. I am a custodian. I’m proud to be one. This is the first job that will not get me in trouble. This job helps me pay to support my family. The issue is not just us individually…it is bigger than that…it extends to our friends, family, and even strangers. People going out into this world seeking what matters to them. They want to make a difference. They want to make moments matter and they’re no different than the other kids in their class or around the world. The world they’re going into has a lot of people like the people who are here, who are doing the same thing, who are grabbing life and spending their moments wisely to make a difference and make things matter. But they’re also all those other people, right? Who litter all our collective landscapes with these tragically misspent moments, these destructive ticking time bombs of a life not considered. And the question for me is what if everyone tried to live a meaningful life? Life is short. Our moments that matter easy to waste and hard to use. It’s easy to say I’m going to go live a meaningful life. I’m sure everyone says that from time to time. My background as a Neuroscientist, I see both the big picture and the very small. And I say to clients all the time, we can’t do anything about everybody. But you can do something about you. So, what if you and I starting today taking advantage of what we’re given and this opportunity to hear some many great ideas and share some many interesting ideas. What if today, you and I tried to live a meaningful life? Is there a better way to do this? What if we changed this question? Just a little bit? What if, instead of living a meaningful life…what if you were to GIVE a meaningful life? What if instead of only harvesting meaningful life around us? What if we tried to help other people find it too and give some of the meaning that drives us some of the purpose share the energy of our purpose and the drive share the sense, we make that the world is worth investing in that there’s a great future that we can build together out there. Can we give meaning away? That’s the question I hope you’ll explore this question for the rest of today. Thank you! Then it is about making choices that set the feeling and tone for what we are thinking or doing. More information can be obtained at www.thoughtgenius.com/meaningful I have a program that teaches you how change the subconscious beliefs, command your thoughts from what you don’t want to ones that work for you and not against you. This training allows you to identify what is wrong and know the steps to changing it within yourself. That way you will learn how use your power from within anytime you desire to make a change. You will learn the steps to do it for yourself whenever you need it. But maybe the answer to this biggest of all questions is very small, all around us opportunities to build together, meaning through connecting, contributing, and considering ways to make all our moments matter. This person submitted a picture of a tractor. I picked it because I wanted to show how farming was a large influence on their life. It shows that there are still people who work hard just to put food on the table. We see this person connecting with family and connecting with heritage and tradition, contributing, working hard, and finding a way to make something important of the way that he spends his moment. Again, this vital connection, the ability to contribute to other people, to weave our futures together and for this person to consider ways in which the moments he’s spending at work are building something powerful, important for himself. So, we come to this question, what makes life meaningful? And maybe it’s the biggest question we can ask. Why are you here? What are you going to do with your life? What makes your existence matter? RECAP: 1) It is not enough that we live. We must live a meaningful life so that during our last moments on earth, we would not regret anything. That means everything we do should have a purpose and a meaning that affects every decision we make the moments of our life matter.” 2) 4,729 people from across the United States, different categories, different educational levels, different ethnicities, different income, and social status to provide information as to how other people might answer that question. 3) Some people are mistaken when they believe it is the book they read, the video they watch that creates a meaningful, satisfying life. Not so, those are words, information…to educate and entertain us. 4) Blaise Pascal was a contemporary of René Descartes. Blaise Pascal was a French mathematician, physicist, inventor, philosopher, writer, and Catholic theologian. He was a child prodigy who was educated by his father, a tax collector in Paris. Pascal was ten years old when Galileo Galilei was forced to recant his belief that the earth circled the sun. Around 1654 Blaise Pascal coined the phrase, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” 5) We Are Not Separate Entities All things in the universe have a link to each other. Our existence is like a circle, and it is impossible to live a solitary life. Our Collective Consciousness and shared universal energy bind us to everyone and everything. 6) Everything We Do Has an Effect on the World Thoughts. Actions. Words. Beliefs. All of these have an impact on us as individuals and on our Collective Conscience and existence. The significance of this is that you influence the type of life you lead and your circumstances. 7) A meaningful life is about making our moments, our experiences in life matter. It is about following through with our choices. 8) As human beings we are attempting to understand the psychological meaning of where we go from here. 9) What matters most is “purpose” and “significance.” 10) The question isn’t can we find meaning in life? The fact is, “we can’t not find” meaning in our lives, it’s happening all the time. There is hope for us all…Breaking Out of the Box is a way of changing, a way of creating the best version of ourselves. It is a way of breaking down the walls and barriers we have created for ourselves. It is a way of accomplishing your dreams, your desires, and all that you hoped could happen. In these blogs, I will explore, not only the reasons why, but also the tips, tricks, and solutions you need to break out of the box you have built which is keep you from progressing. You are encouraged to subscribe to the Breaking Out of the Box Blog. You can get more information or subscribe to the blog at Thought Genius.