One of the most important adventures of our life is discovering who we really are. Yet, so many of us walk around inside the box we have built around us thinking that is how life is supposed to be…we have been told who we are, what we can do or not do. Because we don’t know any better, in our early years we tend to believe what we are told. It is not a fault in the system, it is how we experience the world. It is part of our free will, when we do understand more of how the world works we begin to know more of who we are and how we fit or don’t fit into the world. It is our free will that gives us the opportunity to make different choices and make improvements where needed.
The boundaries or the walls that have become the subconscious beliefs those direct our behaviors. We either not really knowing or listening to an awful inner critic…our negative thoughts that gives us all the wrong ideas about ourselves. We mistakenly think of self-understanding as self-indulgence, and we carry on without asking the most important question we’ll ever ask: Who am I really? Asking that all important question, “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
It is a process that involves breaking down – shedding layers that do not serve us in our lives and don’t reflect who we really are. Yet, it also involves a tremendous act of building up – recognizing who we want to be and passionately going about fulfilling our unique destiny – whatever that may be. It’s a matter of recognizing our personal power, yet being open and vulnerable to our experiences. It isn’t something to fear or avoid, berating ourselves along the way, but rather something to seek out with the curiosity and compassion we would have toward a fascinating new friend. With these principles in mind, the following guide highlights eight of the most universally useful steps to this very individual adventure.
Be Yourself – Everyone Else is Taken
1. Know yourself. Our beliefs about who we are go all the way to childhood.
You’ve seen me write about this before…I will keep repeating it because it is true! Flexibility in your thinking pattern is critical here. Your mindset has everything to do with believing in yourself! It is a scientific fact that most human beings have from 60,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. Of those thoughts, 80-85% of them are the same thoughts you had yesterday. Here is something you most do not know…those same thoughts are the same thoughts you will have tomorrow. It is a repetitive cycle. The reason this is vitally important to know has to do with how our subconscious beliefs are created. Here is some critical information on understanding how to begin believing in ourself…your mindset, what you think about and your subconscious beliefs…the rules that drive your behavior are crucial to this process.
2. Let go of negative self-talk. Limiting beliefs manifest as negative self-talk.
How we make the choices that are in our best interest and will set us free from our box. The negative thinking we have daily is something we need to tame. Did you know that 80-85% of your daily thoughts are negative? That is a scientific fact. You might ask yourself, why is that? Because that is what is familiar…your brain goes there because we allow it. Having command is not only possible but it is your responsibility! You may be dealing with things that you learned from caregivers, teachers, well-meaning friends that are based on their experiences and are not grounded in fact. Your behavior is based upon what you learned as a child. Basically, there may be a five-year-old driving your train and making decisions that a five-year-old would make and having the emotions that a five-year-old would exhibit. The inconvenient truth is, that now that you are older it is time to teach the five-year-old how to do things differently. This blog will offer insights, understanding and information that will allow you to break out of the box you have created for ourself, offering more personal control, a greater sense of confidence. While living without the debilitating effects of uncertainty and confusion. Let’s begin by understanding the four walls of our box.
3. Focus on your strengths.
If you focus on your weaknesses, it can undermine your strengths. Trying to improve a weakness can lead to negative emotions and lower self-confidence. This self-confidence can eventually spread to other areas of your life. If you use your strengths, you are more likely to be happier, less stressed, and more confident.
4. Stop living in the past.
Wikipedia explains, according to the composer, Ian Anderson, he wrote the tune in approximately one hour in his room at a Holiday Inn ‘on the banks of the Charles River’, Boston, Massachusetts, on February 12, 1969. He and his manager, Terry Ellis, were checking in ‘a day off here before the show’, ahead of a three-day residency 13 – 15 February 1969 at the Boston Tea Party rock club. It was included as a “bonus track” for the CD reissue of Stand Up. “Living in the Past” was ranked the fifth best Jethro Tull song.
Do you spend a lot of time reminiscing about the past? If the answer is yes, that’s okay. Thinking fondly about the past and looking back at the way things used to be isn’t a bad thing until it is. There is a difference between thinking about the past and living in it. Sometimes we live in the past because it’s familiar — we know what happened; there are no surprises. Think about why you watch your reruns of your favorite old sitcoms over and over again. If you find that you are clinging to a specific period from your past because you don’t feel there is anything in the present or future that could possibly better, and if thinking about the past in that way actually makes you sad, you may be stuck in the past. Your subconscious beliefs can be changed to be memories from your past and not keep you a slave to not moving forward in your life.
5. Stop caring about what others think.
The real problem isn’t technology—it’s human nature. We are wired to care about what others think of us. As the Roman Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius observed almost 2,000 years ago, “We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own,” whether they are friends, strangers, or enemies.
This tendency may be natural, but it can drive us around the bend if we let it. If we were perfectly logical beings, we would understand that our fears about what other people think are overblown and rarely worth fretting over. But many of us have been indulging this bad habit for as long as we can remember, so we need to take deliberate steps to change our minds. It is part of training our mind so we can identify with who we really are.
6. Be open to change.
When we are open to change, we build confidence. Being open to change doesn’t mean that we will definitely change, rather it means that we are willing to examine a current belief against a new one and determine which holds true. If we decide to accept the new belief, then we are happy and confident with our choice. However, if we reject the new belief in favor of maintaining our current one, we reaffirm our belief and, having given it thorough examination and scrutiny, are more confident with it. Basically, whether we adopt the new belief or hold on to the old one, we come away more confident and sure of ourselves.
7. Be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable means expressing the sides of yourself about which you have the least confidence or certainty, and allowing others to respond to them.
a) Ask for what you need. When we’re hurting, it’s easy to dismiss our pain or try to protect ourselves and the people around us by closing off.
b) Be willing to expose your feelings.
c) Say what you want.
d) Express what you really think.
e) Slow down and be present.
8. Express yourself.
To express yourself creatively means manifesting all that you are —your talent and spirit — just as powerfully and authentically as you can. Many people assume that they have to be a genius writer in order to write or a powerhouse singer in order to sing. Otherwise, why do it, right?
This kind of thinking leads many people to shut down their self-expression. But it can help to reframe this thinking — to think of true self-expression as less about a masterful performance, and more about the feelings that you get when you express yourself.
Healthy self-expression can make your life more fulfilling, allowing you to tap into your own, unique creativity, desires, and passions.
“If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” ― Will Rogers
Thomas Edison said, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
What are the benefits of not giving up?
- You will eliminate your fears.
- New opportunities for creativity will open for you.
- You dare to try things other people are afraid to do.
- Your desire will be ignited.
- Your emotional intelligence is improved.
It is a fact that “life happens” sometimes in ways that we don’t expect or don’t want…but it happens anyway. That is our opportunity to grow into something more than we thought possible. History is full of common people doing uncommon things!
Over the years I have worked with a wide variety of people from different environments, a variety of ages with different interests…ranging from children having difficulty in controlling themselves and achieving academically to young adults crossing the threshold of life to experience their own identity. With people exploring their passion in life. I have worked people all over the world, with thousands of people who searched for the inner-peace that alluded them. I have explored the desires of adults meeting the challenges of career, family and personal development.
I have helped countless people change the subconscious beliefs that were not working for them but they had been carrying them around for their entire life…into new beliefs that helped them achieve what they desire and attract it to them. Yet, in all the thousands of people I have worked with there is a common denominator. In the process of growing and changing they found themselves and began to blossom. Their life took on a meaning that seemed possible only in their dreams.
The irony in all that…it is not that I have any kind of magic…the truth and the science of it came from within themselves. Each of them were able to awaken their own genius to find the hidden treasures that they carried around within themselves and were not even aware that it was there. But when they illuminated who they were and find what they were meant to be in life the magic replaced the doubt, the pain and the longing to live a meaningful life. Let me share a stories and you and I will explain what I mean…
I was having lunch with a friend and former professional hockey player, now an agent for other players to help them with their hockey career. We had known each other for several years. He had come to visit a client of his here in Phoenix. We connected and got together for lunch. He told me a story of his client that had put his professional hockey career on hold. About eighteen months previous he had been hit in the forehead with a hockey puck. Even though he was wearing a protective helmet the force of the impact left him with a concussion.
In a very competitive fast-paced game He experienced the violent force of a slapshot sending a puck traveling at over 100 miles per hour right to the middle of his forehead. The force was so great that it instantly dropped him to the ice on his knees as he fought to keep from blacking out.
A slapshot is harder than a regular shot in hockey. Because of the violent motion involved, the shot is somewhat less accurate. it is all about force, speed and impact. A slapshot takes longer to execute; a player usually cannot take a slapshot while under any significant pressure from an opposing player because the opponent could easily interfere during the windup. A slapshot is most commonly used by a defenseman at the point, especially during a power play. That is what happened to his client…the protective equipment that a professional hockey player wears most certainly kept the injury from being more severe. Several thing began to happen for the player. His skating speed on the ice was noticeably slower.
The number of shots he took during the game was less than before the injury. Prior to the injury, he was one of the top scorers on the team. Now he hardly scored at all. There were no physical ailments from taking a shot to the head from the accelerating puck as it cracked his helmet and dropped him to the ice in a moment of terror and confusion.
From my point of view I understood what was going on. I will let you in on a little secret…even though there was no lasting physical damage from the concussion the real issue was how his brain processed information. He was actually creating his lack of skating speed. He was creating his own lack of ability to score goals. It wasn’t the event or the injury that was affecting him…it was his subconscious beliefs…but everyone around him, including himself was blaming the fact that he got het in the head with a puck. Oh sure, that happened but that was not the true cause of what he was experiencing.
There are several factors involved here. When an athlete gets injured their protection instincts kick in…after their injury heals and they return to playing their sport these protection instincts narrows their field of perception. In other words, they are continually focused on taking care of themselves so they don’t get injured again. Instead of them being present in the moment with the ability to focus on what is happening in the “now” subconsciously they are more worried about getting injured again. The energy they previously were able to put into their skills as a player were now being focused on not getting injured again. Because it is happening in the subconscious part of the brain they are not even aware that is happening.
All the conscious mind is doing is being aware of what they need to do in the moment not to get injured again. This is why his skating speed dropped, why he was fearful of fully engaging in the game to make shots or attack the opponent. He would hang back. His performance began to deteriorate and he couldn’t figure out why. After all he was still the same player he was before the injury. Or was he?
Once we addressed his subconscious beliefs he was able to return to being the player he was before the injury. Remember, we learn through adversity… that learning provided him with the knowledge he need to go beyond where he was before to new levels of performance. We saw evidence of this as his skating speed increased by 20%. As the season continued his speed increase to 34% faster than he was before the injury. He was now a third faster than he was before. His awareness of what was going on around him on a subconscious level allowed him to be more present in the moment.
He picked up on not only his position on the ice but also the other players. He could anticipate what was going to happen and where he needed to be in order to respond. The result of that was…he was in a better position to get a clear shot at the net and anticipate the goalie’s movements. He scored more 37% more goals than he did before the injury to become the leading scorer on the team.
When we have an event in life, we apply some meaning to that event. We also experience some emotion because of the situation. Those are bound together with a burst of the neurotransmitter acytlecholine and we call it a “cognition.” Simply put, that is the way we are wired. As an illustration, when you hear a song and you have memories and feelings associated with that song that is what is firing inside your brain. We respond to that…as we think about it repeatedly it becomes a subconscious belief. When that is triggered and fires off it becomes visible in our behavior.
It is now a subconscious belief…a wanted or an unwanted belief works the same way…if you have unwanted beliefs driving your behavior then you will experience more of what you don’t want in life. The opposite is true…if your subconscious belief is more on the wanted side and you energy and the frequency of this vibration are in alignment then you will experience more of what you do desire. You are telling the universe, “Yes, bring me more of what I do want.” By many physical measures, this athlete was different and he had better performance to back it up! Because we are wired that way, we all have the opportunity to be better than we were before. The bigger question is will you do something to make the change or keep living life in default and continuing to get more of what you don’t want?
Proficiency in Various Academic Endeavors Revealed in Research Study.
I have had the opportunity to work with students to improve their abilities and performance. I have written in detail in my new book about a young man that wanted to go to college but at the time it was doubtful whether he would even graduate high school let alone go to college. You can read about this case at ThoughtGenius.com by downloading that free chapter read about it.
I would like to offer a different case and perspective on brain performance and the elevation of ability that made a difference in student’s lives.
I was recently engaged in a research project in Vancouver, Canada. I met a teacher that was getting great performance for a considerable number of students she coached in learning mathematics. She wanted to know why the coaching method she was using with her young clients was so successful.
I travelled to Vancouver on a stormy weekend in November to do this research study on students she was coaching in varying degrees of math proficiency. This project was intriguing to me and presented an interesting challenge to discover why this teacher was so effective in her approach to mathematics.
Was this a case of a teacher that had a better method of teaching a method that students could improve their math performance or was something else happening? After talking over the study design with the teacher she gathered together six students of varying degrees of proficiency in their math ability. We isolated the main variable, did the coaching have any affect on student’s ability to master the concepts, given their individual ability, to understand and improve their performance?
Even though it was rainy and cold that day in Vancouver everyone showed up for the recording of the data. It took the entire day to record all six students. We recorded a baseline of information, eyes open, eyes closed and brain on task so we would have a beginning point of how their individual brain’s were functioning. We recorded them doing math problems on their own without the teacher using her coaching method and recorded them doing math problems while receiving her coaching. Would there be any difference and if there was, what was the reason for the improvement?
When I processed their individual brainmaps there were a number of definitive identifying markers. At first glance their brains were all over the map depending on their baseline performance. You have to remember the age of our subjects, they ranged from 13-years-old to 17 years-of-age. Their brain’s still developing would perform differently. The brain does not reach maturity until around 22-years-of-age. That means that grasping mathematic concepts can be challenging. that is exactly what the results showed. Some students had trouble focusing and concentrating. Other’s brains were very busy, like a runaway freight train, they were having difficulty with their brain over thinking the issue and the energy in the brain not being, as we would call it..”not coherent.”
The data presented information that no matter the student’s ability, their ability improved during the session when they were engaged in the unique coaching process by the teacher. Her method was different than the way students normally taught math in school. The data confirmed that there was an improvement in their ability to understand the concepts being taught. The bigger question for me was, why the improvement? Was it the teacher, her coaching method, a combination of both or something all together different?
After much analysis of the data, it was clear that the performance of each student’s brain was different in their ability to comprehend and focus what was going on played a role…it was also clear, that no matter how long the student had been working with the teacher there were different levels of their ability since some were new to working with her and others had worked with her for a longer period of time. In 98% of the student’s recorded there was improvement in their ability to perform math when engaged in the process that the teacher taught them…she calls it coaching…the student’s were not being coached to come up with a correct answer.
They had been taught a methodology that they used when working on math. We measured them when they did not use the method and also measured them when they did use the method they were taught. There was clear evidence that the methodology worked for al the students except one…The one exception was probably due to the fact that the student was very new with the teacher and had not worked with the methodology much yet. The question still remained for me… why was the methodology so effective?
If you read some of my past studies, books, and blogs this concept should pop out for you…that is the scientific fact of the morphogenetic field and morphic resonance. Each of the students had a morphogenetic field around them. That happens for everyone. We all have a morphogenetic field around us…what you do with that field is what morphic resonance is all about. In this case, the students, depending on how long they had been working with the teacher’s methodology were able to use the principle of morphic resonance in applying that methodology to working with the math concepts taught to them.
It didn’t depend on their age, learning ability or IQ…the methodology taught to them could be applied accurately because of the principle of morphic resonance. So, it was a combination of the student’s brain, the teacher’s ability to teach…applying the methodology they were taught and the morphogenetic field that made it all work.
The takeaway from these examples is that the Universal Laws are present and we are all subject to them and they are available to everyone…it just depends on how you use them that matters. Subconscious beliefs must be aligned. In the case of the hockey player, we directly changed his subconscious beliefs to affect his performance. In the case of the math students, the methodology they were taught altered their subconscious beliefs that allowed their performance in their ability to perform mathematical concepts at a young age. Either way you look at these two examples…the basic premiss gets back to altering subconscious beliefs.
We are hard wired to make any change in our perception and what is on our belief window guiding our behavior. It doesn’t matter if you are a professional athlete, a budding star on the rise…an executive, or have a desire to attract the desires of your heart into your world…there is a way for you to have control over your thoughts and how you apply them and anyone can learn how to do it. If you want to explore this and learn how to do it for yourself contact us by scheduling a 15 minute phone conference by selecting APPOINTMENTS on my website ThoughtGenius.com to see if you are ready to improve your life. Make your appointment today!
1) One of the most important adventures of our life is discovering who we really are.
2) Asking that all important question, “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
3) It’s a matter of recognizing our personal power.
4) If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” ― Will Rogers
5) Be Yourself – Everyone Else is Taken.
6) The bigger question is will you do something to make the change or keep living life in default and continuing to get more of what you don’t want?
7) Subconscious beliefs must be aligned.
There is hope for us all…Breaking Out of the Box is a way of changing, a way of creating the best version of ourselves. It is a way of breaking down the walls and barriers we have created for ourselves. It is a way of accomplishing your dreams, your desires, and all that you hoped could happen. In these blogs, I will explore, not only the reasons why, but also the tips, tricks, and solutions you need to break out of the box you have built which is keep you from progressing. You are encouraged to subscribe to the Breaking Out of the Box Blog. You can get more information or subscribe to the blog at Thought Genius.